1.your idea of a hot meal is a Whopper warmed on the defroster while your unit is left running outside the ER.
2.You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don’t have to deal with them any longer.
3.Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers…
4.You take it as a compliment when someone call…s you dirty name
5.You have ever had to leave a patient’s room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
6.You can drink a cup of coffee and go straight to bed
7.Your favorite hallucinogenic is exhaustion
8.You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control
9.You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say “I have no idea how that got stuck in there”
10.You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food
11.Your feet are slightly flatter and tougher than Fred Flinstone’s
12.Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat
13.You have thought OD instead of BBQ when asked to get the Charcoal.
14. You’ve ever pretended to sneeze and at the same time thrown KY jelly on a fellow coworker’s sleeve in order to make them think that they got shot with a HOCKER.
15. You’ve ever held a 14 gauge needle over someone’s vein and said “now there’s going to be a little poke”
16.You have ever wanted to post a sign in triage saying, “If you are grouchy, irritable or just plain mean, there will be a $10 surcharge for putting up with you”
17.The last time you saw “management” was in a book.
18.You can compliment a co-worker on his/her attire while doing CPR